If I could change one thing about marriage, I really think I would change the transition to a family ward. First of all, don’t get me wrong. I feel the spirit every Sunday and I get a lot out of church, which is yet another testament to the truth of the gospel and something that I am thankful for, each and every day! So before I start “complaining” or whatever you want to call it. Allow me to tell you a few things that I love about our new ward:
* Our bishop is a VERY VERY good man. Incredibly spiritual and quite a leader. He is SO big on family and time spent together. He is such a great bishop (he’s almost done it seems, though, so I will be sad to see him get released, he’s really incredible)
*Our Sunday School discussions are really great! I never thought I would take so much away from studying the Old Testament. It’s incredible the parallels to today and I am so grateful that I have a calling right now that allows me to go to Sunday School.
*The ward has been incredibly friendly to us. We’ve had dinner with a few couples in the ward with plans to get together with more. We have a few couples that have no kids and love games and that makes it a little easier (although most of them have been married for 5+years not 5+ months :)
Okay, so to my rambling.
It’s just different and it’s hard for me somehow to fully adjust. For example, I miss Relief Society in the singles ward. It seemed that the focus was more concentrated and the discussions were somehow more fulfilling to me. I hate to say it but I am SO sick of hearing the sentence (or anything like it) “When my kids drive me crazy”–especially when you come to find that crazy is not an over-statement. No, we’re talking breakdowns, locking oneself in the closet, etc…UM…HELL-O–Here I am just starting my own family, very much so looking forward to having my own family, and yet I feel a little diluted after Relief Society, I feel scared and annoyed. When visiting teaching the other day (I’ll spare you the details that led to this comment, too much discussion) the women said, “Well, it sure would be interesting to sit in on a singles’ Relief Society meeting, huh?” Almost in an offensive way, and I really wanted to say that I loved my singles ward more. That the discussions in Relief Society were better, optimistic, and focused on the topic at hand. Then, the other day I was attending a meeting about the ward camp out and the statement was made that MOST couples will have their own RV?!!? Um, no, we don’t. And that’s actually fine. We don’t need one and honestly, Zach (and I think me, too) would actually rather sleep in tent (if we end up going). But we are just not at that point. That’s not assumed by any means in a singles ward, and it seems like after one day (our wedding day) so much is assumed. As I was walking through the neighborhood in the sun the other day, I started daydreaming about summer and I realized there will be no water skiing/tubing activity at Lucky Peak. There will be no water kickball. I don’t really want to be that grown up just yet. I miss my girlfriends that were single in my ward, I still feel like I have more in common with them than I do with these ladies. I miss our bishopric and their wives, they were like a 2nd set of parents.
I guess I’m having trouble being grown up in this way. I miss my singles ward life. That’s really the only thing I miss from my single life. The singles ward served me well for a while. I only attended two different wards in my single life, both were life changing in different ways. Both allowed me to make SO many friends (many which I still have), both allowed me to gain a stronger testimony, and both allowed me to develop into the person I am today. I just miss it. I will get used to this I suppose. But if I can put in a request to Heavenly Father, someday I would REALLY REALLY like Zach to be called to the singles ward in some capacity. :) That would be delightful!