Yesterday was our temple day. We really have been working so hard at trying to make this day go as smoothly as possible–as it has seemed since my first visit–it never does. We’ve made goals which include: I get ready like I’m going on a date (not rush home from work), I eat something (so I’m not so concentrated on my hunger that I don’t remember what I’m doing and why I’m doing it), and just a few other things. Well…I tried and tried but I did not succeed yesterday. As I was getting ready to go I found a puddle that Mal had left in the carpet which he does not do anymore, I had a near emotional breakdown from feeling F.A.T. as I was getting ready (this was more like a tantrum than a breakdown), and lastly-as I was getting into our car it wouldn’t start. This is because of some car trouble we are having. I have to get into our new (OLD) (GHETTO) truck (which I do not enjoy driving, I did when it was a novelty, being forced to drive the gas guzzler just IRKS me big time.) It was hot, I was annoyed, I was feeling fat, oh and I was feeling hungry and had forgotten to snack on something (this may sound like I’m insanely focused on food but really-when I get hungry I get MOODY, like BAD)…I was having a MOMENT, big time. I said a quick prayer because I really am trying to make some changes in my attitude, I’m trying to become just a tiny bit more laid back. I picked Zach up he also had a rough last part of the day. I held myself together better than ever and we drove to the temple. I was having guilt because sometimes I think I go, even though it’s such a rough day almost always leading up to getting there, sometimes simply because I want the blessings in my life and in my marriage.
We went nonetheless, whatever our real motivation was and it was a great experience for me. I truly enjoyed myself and even if it’s a rough day getting there, I still get to experience at least 2 hours of real peace…which is more than I truly get the rest of the work week. Sure, life is peaceful these days, but not quite the same kind of peace. I walked out feeling just a little bit refreshed. It was a different experience, I think for both of us, than we’ve ever had. As we walked out into the parking lot for a moment I had forgotten about our car trouble woes…and quite honestly didn’t care quite as much as I did before getting there.
I am grateful for EVERY SINGLE THING I have been blessed with. I am so grateful for a happy home where I am able to enjoy my new ETERNAL marriage to one amazing guy. I am so blessed to have a job and to miss it when I’m not there. I am so grateful for a calling in church that has helped me realize a lot of things I think I had forgotten. I am grateful for the knowledge of the true gospel and the knowledge that I am indeed a child of God. I may worry (of course I’d rather take a trip with my husband this summer than pay to fix a car…who wouldn’t…) but I am NOT COMPLAINING!