I originally started this blog as just a comment to Shar’s Blog about me. I am very aware that some of you are horribly sick of me (or rather the version of me that Shar has conjured up in her mind :).. As you can see Shar is ALSO in MY corner and it truly makes all items in my parenting worthwhile to know that your kids are in your corner.
This blog made me cry to the point of embarrassment here at work and I would really like to thank her for that !!
More important than that I would like to say that Shar WILL be a wonderful mom. She has so many awesome traits that did not come from me. She has a lot of her father’s and especially his mother’s traits and this is going to make her so much more of a mom than me. I am glad because I hope to be hanging out with her kids and they will be excellent !! She love’s children, is crazy about Zach, an excellent leader and her values and morals are strong and she lives them, her children will know where they stand ALWAYS. And she will be MUCH better at being in her child’s corner. I wish I had been better at protecting her and Shane. I wish I had had the line drawn and that I had the intuition that they deserved in a mom. I didn’t have that quality. I had really good kids-I could have really screwed up a lesser child. That is the truth. It is lucky for my kids and for me that they came the way they are. I seriously can’t wait for my chance to see Shar as my grandkid’s mom.
Now I would just like to say to ALL of the people who have stated and there are MANY. That my children were a burden sometimes to me-You obviously do not KNOW me.. I know what a burden is believe me!!My children were not in private or in public -a burden.. I don’t know why that sounds like a lie to some people.. but it isn’t. Have I been worn out,angry,worried,sad,tired? YES. Burdened by my children?– NO!!! I have several friends that fall into the same category with me on this. I know now it must be a minority but I KNOW these people. You live with them more than your family and in 24 years I would know if they thought their children were a burden. I also know the ones who do. I am not saying that it is not normal to feel that way sometimes. I am just saying that I fell in love with my children like a crazy person. I want to also state that I am a selfish individual as well. Sharlee doesn’t think so but I am. Todd and I were married 3 years before we had Shar. We thought we would try to have kids about a year after we were married and it didn’t work that way. He wanted a baby more than me. Let me explain us.. I loved being married to him and we had a cute little house and a really nice motorcycle that we went on rides and trips with. We also had friends and parties and we took vacations. I had decided that I would be ok if we never had any and that we would just be us together. About then we found out we were going to have a baby. and let me tell you from then on they were such an unexpected type of LOVE that to this day I cannot still describe it. I couldn’t keep my hands off them. I wanted to play with them. I was so surprised at how freaking lucky I really was. I was a totally different person than I thought I was. As they grew up I was still amazed and sad at each passing year. It was so fun seeing all the stuff they learned and going to their dance recitals, parades, ball games and school plays. It brought a whole new dimension to my life.
I believe that kids bring out the best in us. most of us.. (I will have to blog on that another time) :)They allow us to be people we want to be because they love us unconditionally. This allows us to sing made up silly songs in a bad voice and to dance in the living room or write silly poems or be put on a pedestal that I don’t belong on and pray never to fall from because it will be a freaking long way down. So for today you can not bop me off the pedestal with the Burden thing. There are plenty of things that can topple me over and believe me I KNOW but that is not one of them.
I want to quote Caren “I have always loved it you know.. Loved being a mom.”
Me too I hope I get to be one forever. That is truly my prayer.
I love my Sharlee my Sharlee Rose and I love my Shaner my Shaner Gordon- they’re the sweetest kids I know and I thank Heavenly Father Every Day for sending them to me…