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This is a line from a song by Johnny Cash about a lost love but the words still came in my head while I was filling out Christmas cards the other day.

I had my address book out and I am writing them on the envelopes. This has been my address book since Shar was probably four years old-so as  I am filling them out I see so very many married aunt’s and uncle’s addresses and I am now either sending to only one of them or they are both gone. This takes me back to when they were all here. My memories of their visits to our house or our family reunions with Todd’s family and of course my childhood and  “I Still Miss Someone.”

It happened again when  I started unpacking my Christmas decorations to put them up at our house and out come the little mason jars that are decorated like Santa. Marty made those and she had them in a kind of goody box thing she sent with all kinds of little Christmas stuff and my kids were so happy pulling them out of the box and then I remember all of the Christmas things with her and ” I Still Miss Someone”

 I was in Shopko last Thursday (which on a side note was a very pleasing experience as all the Christmas shoppers seem to have forgotten this store) and I was going through the Christmas Decor aisle and there was a whole row of the little tiny Christmas Stockings and I seriously almost reached to grab and count how many they had and call my mom. I stopped in the aisle and just stood there a minute. My mom taught children in Primary in our church for probably 40 years and every year she bought those stockings and filled them with little gifts like gum and bookmarks and candy canes and ”  I Still Miss Someone”

Carma and I were talking about the zucchini bread and cookies that her mom used to make. I remember getting the bread from her all wrapped in fancy foil and the jokes Glenna would make about “that is why I am so thin” and “I Still Miss Someone .”

I got this email joke yesterday that was so freaking funny to me, I sent it to a lot of people but I would have emailed Caren and she would have thought it was funny and she would have told me in an email right back too. ” I Still Miss Someone”

Finally this is the one that brought my whole issue to the top and I can not explain the reason. I was walking out of Albertsons and up front by the Newspaper Stand is a cardboard fireplace.. A cardboard fireplace!!! It had little flames in it and everything and I truly actually froze there and was staring at it. Looking back into my childhood and our own  cardboard fireplace and my brothers and sister and me.. young and excited and all warm and together and the love. I stood there longer than I thought because the clerk came up and asked me if I needed any help….. which shook me out of this and I remembered  my brothers and  ” I Still Miss Someone”

I have some very cherished memories of the holidays and in case my siblings think I have gone to complete dementia I also have some quite hideous ones as well. The deal here is that I still Love Christmas and I cherish all of the people who have given me such good memories.( The other memories I will try to  choose to let burn in the  little cardboard fireplace of my mind :)

  I will be thankful for the gift of eternal life that the holiday brings to mind. And I look forward to making new memories here with the ones I love soooo very much.  I know I will spend Christmas again with the ones I have been remembering as well but today ” I Still Miss Someone”

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