So this may attract some outrage from readers and for that I apologize . This is merely my opinion.. I am well over halfway through life though so I think that I can start to state my opinion..( not that I haven’t been doing that since I was 4 years old) but … I feel I am entitled to now.
I officially DISLIKE Geese ( OMHell) yes I said it.. it actually verges on a form of hate. Do I know this sounds like someone from the dark side? Of course I do .. This is why I have kept this (mostly) to myself. I have told Todd,my kids and sister and then this past week I told Carma and my friends at work..
I have been coming into work in Boise for 25 years now. Our office here actually sits in the midst of some of the prettiest scenery in town. The Boise River runs right outside the building we have huge masses of grass and trees all over and across the street is a pond. I have seen Deer ,Ducks, Fish, Squirrels,a Fox, Beavers, a Flasher(just a side wildlife:) ) and GEESE here over the years. The Geese however OWN this place !
As a matter of fact Geese OWN every place they happen to be. This is a fact. They come in large groups. They are entitled to the land (according to PETA and the actual Geese themselves )! And apparently being in large groups or alone if you stand on 2 feet AND fly makes you the boss.. For YEARS I have walked past them , waited for them, waited for all 40 of them to cross the parking lot in front of me when I was late for work and only 3 feet from my normal parking space and they were IN it, I actually fed them and sometimes tried to ignore them. They don’t ignore well. They have these really steely eyes and they stare you down like the BIRDS in the Alfred Hitchcock movie. Matter of fact this may be part of my issue as well. Perhaps I watched way too many “group’ movies- The Birds, Bees-The Swarm, Jaws, Jurassic Park – I never did watch Snakes on a Plane or Arachnophobia as I was afraid they Would Indeed send me to my outer limit. But, I wonder had I watched a movie called Horses or the Labrador Puppies if I would be freaked out by them too – Not sure..
Anyway my relationship with geese is long ranging and I am always afraid of an animal that is not one bit scared of you. It both pisses me off and horrifies me at the same time.
A little bit of history –
I used to do the lovely mom thing and take my kids to the park.. We would feed the ducks AND of course the geese.. Sharlee was just 3 years old and we were at Ann Morrison Park here and she was looking at the geese minding her business in the grass and I turned around to see one of them yanking her toward the river with his beak! This is true! He didn’t stop when I yelled and I was running toward him, he kept pulling and he was eye to eye with her!!! I had to literally pull her shirt from him and stomp.. and he still stood there .. Now what kind of freakish animal does that?? I watched them chase both Sharlee and Shane on another occasion. And the fact that they just crap all over the sidewalks and you have to dodge it walking out is just another point of piggish animal… They look like ornery old people to me.. I used to find the fact they mate for life endearing until I began to notice the ornery old couple and of course they mate for life.. who else would EVER put up with them .
So let me tell you the topper..
I have been living in accordance to their will over here for 25 years. I just walk around them I try not to look them in the eye.. I don’t run over them in the parking lot… I don’t feed them anymore either because I will give the fat chipmunk that waits in the trash can and is sooooo funny something but, they are NOT FUNNY!! We had a very bad week in here again last week. They announced layoffs across the company and the days were filled with people being called in and out of offices with the information of YES you have a job or NO you don’t. The smack missed our group of peons this time but one of my favorite bosses got told he was done. Several of my friends got the news and the atmosphere was less than joyous. Very stressful.. We are near the end of the week. I am walking out the door to go home. One of my friends had been to my desk just an hour earlier and we cried about her leaving.. I just wanted out.. Wanted to get home. So outside are 30 or more geese lined at the sidewalk and along the grass because of course They OWN the place.. They didn’t get laid off .. Their mate is stuck with them for life.. I am in one of their way!! And the Jackass Looks me in the eye and does this.. HISSSSSS.. at me.. oh my WORD !!! I wanted to ask him “what in the world was that”? I actually almost went nuts enough TO ask him.. but I looked at him and he stretched his neck out and looked right at me and I’ll be go to HELL if I didn’t slightly run from the thing!!!!
I am DONE officially DONE with them.. I will avoid them, tolerate them AND DISLIKE them VERY MUCH…. This is horrendous to say but I don’t actually care if I never actually see one fly in splendor over the sky
or strut about the parking lot or park EVER again.. I would not truly mind if the next one I ever see is in a Mother Goose book I am reading to my grandchildren..
Will I take them to the park to feed the Geese? NO WAY.. Their moms can do that!!