I think I always knew I wanted to be a mom-from the time I was really little and played with my dolls ALL the time to when we had been married a while(2+years) and we thought perhaps we were not going to have kids. I don’t know for sure now, but it seems like I always wanted to. I don’t think however that I gave as much thought to being a “Good Mom”.
Today and actually most of this week I have been thinking a lot about my own mom. I have been playing through the things that made her a “Good Mom” for me. I have also been thinking about a lot of the moms I have been surrounded by my whole life and reviewing what I think makes them Good Moms as well.
My age may factor in here and also the fact that I talked about her a lot with my dad the week before he passed away-
I have been thinking of her in her main role as Mom not just my Grandma. I look at her differently now that I can see more clearly from her side. She was a Good Mom. My Grandpa suffered a life altering stroke when he was in his early forties. Prior to this he was a construction foreman pulling in a very good living. He had to learn to walk, talk, read and write all over again and he was never the same after this. This caused a great emotional and financial hardship on the family. My Grandma went to work.. She took a job driving for the Blind all over Utah. It was long tedious hours and sometimes days away from home. She did this to help take care of her family. She did this to care for a husband she loved and the children that were still at home. She still played cards with her friends, loved family dinners and reunions, played with and loved the new babies, and she would laugh at me-I thought it was so great if I could make her laugh, She lived through many health problems and was always still working, still loving her family and still the mom. So I believe from her the characteristics of strength and love play a part in making a Good Mom.
2. My Mom.. She LOVED children. She never seemed to find them as a bother EVER. I find this incredible. She treated us as equals. She didn’t talk down to us and she seemed to believe we were just simply little people. She was a great teacher and not in the way of lectures and bossing, but more so in the way of having you do things WITH her not FOR her. I learned a lot of things about keeping a home from this tactic. I believe if she had tried to TELL me what to do I would have rebelled. I thought it was my idea and so her practices in caring for your home stayed with me. She always loved to read as well and school was important to her. She passed the love of reading by sharing books with us and letting us see what a world would open up to us from opening a book. She included us in her daily life-we went shopping with her, to movies, to the car wash, on bike rides, to dinner at the restaurants and on visits.She took us to church and prayed with us and for us. So I would say-Love of children and belief in them, being a good teacher and not excluding your children, a belief in God and lots of prayers would make a Good Mom.
3. Marty. She was a class act. She didn’t use bad language or yell. She simply stood where she stood and her children knew that they needed to line up. There was no excuses and no gray.. It was simply black or white, right or wrong with her and you knew which was which.She loved her family. She was very hard working, spiritual and a very good caretaker. She took really good care of her husband and kids. She was an excellent seamstress and her children and grandchildren were blessed by this art. I wanted to please her. I know I didn’t a lot of the time, but I really wanted to make her proud of me. So from her I would say spirituality, love and strong morals and patience-lots and lots of patience would make A Good Mom.
4. Cara- Humor.. tons of it. Cara has 4 children-two sets of twins. To say her life is a whirlwind would be an understatement and yet her kids still get a clown. She tells them things that are totally untrue to mess with their heads, she speaks to them in adult language and they understand her, they also think she is funny. I seriously know that sometimes she laughs to keep from screaming, but still it works. Her children know she loves them. She sets them up to always present themselves well at school and church too. She is very good at this. So I would say humor, common sense and love make a Good Mom
5.. Diane- She is a spontaneous it’s ok to leave things undone and head to the pool with your kids-kind of mom. She and I took our kids camping one summer years and years ago. She knew where to climb in the mountains to find the warm springs. She would just haul off and run somewhere with her kids all of the time. She still drops things and runs to places like Seattle to help her kids out at the spur of the moment. She loves them unconditionally and freely. I find this refreshing as I have always kind of had to plan what I do when it comes to taking kids on outings etc. Spontaneity, flexibility and love would be characteristics that make a Good Mom .
There are so many women that I could list as examples of Good Mom’s. Are these women Perfect Moms? Oh no. Did they make mistakes? Oh yes. Did they stop trying? Not ever. Good Moms love and work and work and pray and play and work and teach and work some more. I think the one key vital thread here is the LOVE. They love their kids like there is no other time and for this their families have been and will be blessed for generations to come.
I wish I had been more observant before I threw myself into the role of mother and went about it by the seat of my pants. I see now so many traits that would have served my family well. Do my kids love me? Oh yes much more than I deserve. Do I love them ? Uncontrollably. Maybe someday the love will cover the errors. I hope it does.
I would just like to say God Bless the Mothers, Grandmas, Aunts, Teachers and Friends of the children of the world. Your gifts are immeasurable. Your kindness eternal.
Thank you to my mom. I carry you with me every single day. My children carry you with them as well. You shall ever be in our family as you made a mark. It is unending. I honor you for this. I hope you can see this note today. I didn’t say this to you aloud. I pray you knew if from my heart.
“A hundred years from now it will not matter what my bank account was, the sort of house I lived in, or the kind of car I drove…but the world may be different because I was important in the life of a child.” Forest E Wilcraft