I LOVE a good joke and I really like the stupid jokes. I will admit that I have a different sense of humor and this stuff is totally lost on my family. All of them with the exception of Shane(sometimes) find no reason to laugh at my jokes. This fact also makes me laugh because the less they think it is funny the more I do. Warped? Maybe. Some of these jokes I heard years and years ago and I can remember distinctly the first time I heard them and who I  was with at the time. I have a very good memory of a day when I was working at Kmart in the Sporting Goods Dept. and James ( the guy I worked with) and I were setting up the winter displays of gloves and sleds and coats and he and I got into the mode of face jokes. The ones where you hold your face or pull it to fit the jokes for example one hand on top of your head and one under your chin squishing it together.. Lady this seat is taken.. I still laugh at that one and that day James had a ton of them and I laughed so hard I fell over into a pile of coats. I took this information home and repeated it to Todd and he sat on the couch and looked at me like he was staring at scenery or something and this in turn made me die laughing even more. The fact that he sees no humor in it makes it sooo much funnier.

Since the internet has come about the art of joke telling has kind of fallen by the wayside. People email them to you, but they don’t run over and say hey I have to tell you this. I find this kind of sad because nothing is better than watching someone tell a joke. Today I am going to just tell you a few of my favorites..and a couple of new ones I found..

A bear goes into a bar ..The bartender says “what’ll you have” Bear says” Rum and a ——————coke”  Bartender says.. “why the big pause”..   “dunno always had em”

What do you call a fish with no eyes?      Fsh..

What do you call a dinosaur with 1 eye? – A Do-you-think-he-saurus


And this one is one of my all time favorites.

A horse goes into a bar.. The bartender says “so why the long face?”

Shar and I were having a conversation last night about a movie Shane and Kylie went to and Shane  told me it was funny and I would probably like it. So I asked him if Todd would like it and he said probably not.  Shar’s comment to this was “oh it is so grand that you and Shane have the same taste in movies.”  This in itself makes me laugh. As does the time when Shar was around 17 years old and our family had just settled an uproarious living situation at our house that did not include our immediate family.  and we were finally all sitting at the dinner table together alone.  Shane and Shar were carrying on this happy little chatter and Todd says’ Well aren’t you two as happy as a couple of meadowlarks?”  to which Shar replied. “what does that mean.. dad..? . It doesn’t make sense. thats like saying you’re as happy as a cat!”  This actually caught Todd off guard and he almost laughed. (I know you would have had to be there.. or at least know Todd)

I love Groucho Marx too .. his stuff is extremely funny..

  • Last night I shot an elephant in my pyjamas and how he got in my pyjamas I’ll never know.

  and here is one of his you can use “I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn’t it”

When I was setting up to write this blog I started reading jokes on line and actually had a really good laugh to myself. I will probably have to tell them to Todd tonight anyway..

I can already tell you the conversation will go a little like this “Turn the tv off I have to tell you something”

click.. “what is it?”

I find television very educating.  Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book. 

Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend.  Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read.

                                                                           Groucho Marx

 HAHAHAHA  to which Todd will do his fake laugh he does whenever anybody anywhere at anytime laughs.. and I will laugh harder..

Then I will ask him “has there been in a death in the family? This is some funny stuff here” which is a quote from my all time favorite movie Arthur..

What makes you laugh? Truly I would love to hear some new material .. And so would my family.