What traits were most important to you when looking for a significant other? If you are still looking, what traits are the most important to you?

Okay, so that was actually a really difficult question to write. I wanted to include people that already have a significant other and those who are still looking while making the question gender-neutral.

One of my all-time FAVORITE Zach pictures! For more information on this picture see here.

With everything that’s been going on, I have spent a lot of time thinking about the man I married and how lucky I was. I was wondering how I actually did end up so lucky. I started thinking about my “list.” The one that I started in high school (on a big blow up ball that I took to MORP that had a rather inappropriate name–the juvenile Sharlee was a really REALLY inappropriate Sharlee, just ask Misty).

My list had everything I thought I could possibly want/need in a spouse. I thought just for fun, I’d share it. You should start laughing at me immediately.

-Deep (this makes me laugh so hard at myself you have no idea)


-Strong Facial Features


-Stays up Late

-Perfect Nose (are you kidding me, Sharlee!?!? Oh my goodness gracious!)

-Kissable Lips

-Good Dancer

-Head Over Heels for ME!

-Hopeless Romantic

-Likes Chinese Food

-He has “the hips”

-Opens Doors

-Member of the Church

-Returned Missionary (100% against this as a thing now with my whole heart, perhaps a post on that at another time)



-Knows When to Apologize (this probably was added when I was mad at my dad which makes me laugh really hard, too)

-Buys Me Flowers

-Plays the Piano


-Wonderful Kisser (as if I would even know what that was when I wrote this, I had never even kissed anyone until I met Zach)


-Complete Respect for Me

-Strong! Ryan Lavery Like (yes, I included a soap opera character on my list! I share because whatever you’re thinking about me right now can’t be worse than what I’m thinking about myself, although I am also laughing a whole lot)


-Potential good husband/father

-Will watch chick flicks but is not too feminine


-Chokes up because he’s so in love with me (I watched a soap opera religiously back in the day)


-Sexy big brother trait

-My best friend

-Understands me

-Connects with me truly (I was like 16 when I wrote this, which is why it’s hilarious)

-Eagle Scout

-Realizes the difference between stupid Mormon girls and awesome girls like me

-Looks fabulous in Wranglers

-Reasonably good sense of style


-Takes me to movies (Again, probably brought on by my dad…because of all things people worry about–even 16 year old girls–who worries their husband won’t take them to movies?!?!)

Whether I realized it or not, the guy I thought I wanted was the guy Zach was pretending to be in the picture I included in this post. How funny life turns out. How glad I am that someone else is in charge who knows so much better than we do.

As I dated in college (not that I dated a lot, but I got creeped out a lot), I started thinking that it didn’t really matter if he looked good in Wranglers or had an Eagle Scout award, or a perfect nose (whatever that is) for Heaven’s Sake, but that I really wanted to just be comfortable with him.

That became my one big thing. The way I believe I worded it in my journal was that I wanted someone I could find rest in.

For the most part Zach fits a lot of traits on the list I made (Aside from the Wranglers thing (which is okay, because he does fill out a pair of Levis quite nicely) but he’s not the guy he’s pretending to be in the picture.

I’m really happy with him because I don’t have to put on any kind of show with him. I am myself 100% and not only am I okay with that around him but I’m at peace with that around him. I always have been.

Which has meant that whether I’m on top of the world or barely hanging on, I still find myself madly in love with my husband.

I chalk it all up to that one thing I was looking for. It wasn’t a trait you can put on paper and call it, it was a feeling.

What is your thing or what are your things?

What did you/do you look for in a significant other?