What traits were most important to you when looking for a significant other? If you are still looking, what traits are the most important to you?
Okay, so that was actually a really difficult question to write. I wanted to include people that already have a significant other and those who are still looking while making the question gender-neutral.
One of my all-time FAVORITE Zach pictures! For more information on this picture see here.
With everything that’s been going on, I have spent a lot of time thinking about the man I married and how lucky I was. I was wondering how I actually did end up so lucky. I started thinking about my “list.” The one that I started in high school (on a big blow up ball that I took to MORP that had a rather inappropriate name–the juvenile Sharlee was a really REALLY inappropriate Sharlee, just ask Misty).
My list had everything I thought I could possibly want/need in a spouse. I thought just for fun, I’d share it. You should start laughing at me immediately.
-Deep (this makes me laugh so hard at myself you have no idea)
-Strong Facial Features
-Stays up Late
-Perfect Nose (are you kidding me, Sharlee!?!? Oh my goodness gracious!)
-Head Over Heels for ME!
-Likes Chinese Food
-He has “the hips”
-Member of the Church
-Returned Missionary (100% against this as a thing now with my whole heart, perhaps a post on that at another time)
-Knows When to Apologize (this probably was added when I was mad at my dad which makes me laugh really hard, too)
-Buys Me Flowers
-Plays the Piano
-Wonderful Kisser (as if I would even know what that was when I wrote this, I had never even kissed anyone until I met Zach)
-Complete Respect for Me
-Strong! Ryan Lavery Like (yes, I included a soap opera character on my list! I share because whatever you’re thinking about me right now can’t be worse than what I’m thinking about myself, although I am also laughing a whole lot)
-Potential good husband/father
-Will watch chick flicks but is not too feminine
-Chokes up because he’s so in love with me (I watched a soap opera religiously back in the day)
-Sexy big brother trait
-My best friend
-Connects with me truly (I was like 16 when I wrote this, which is why it’s hilarious)
-Realizes the difference between stupid Mormon girls and awesome girls like me
-Looks fabulous in Wranglers
-Reasonably good sense of style
-Takes me to movies (Again, probably brought on by my dad…because of all things people worry about–even 16 year old girls–who worries their husband won’t take them to movies?!?!)
Whether I realized it or not, the guy I thought I wanted was the guy Zach was pretending to be in the picture I included in this post. How funny life turns out. How glad I am that someone else is in charge who knows so much better than we do.
As I dated in college (not that I dated a lot, but I got creeped out a lot), I started thinking that it didn’t really matter if he looked good in Wranglers or had an Eagle Scout award, or a perfect nose (whatever that is) for Heaven’s Sake, but that I really wanted to just be comfortable with him.
That became my one big thing. The way I believe I worded it in my journal was that I wanted someone I could find rest in.
For the most part Zach fits a lot of traits on the list I made (Aside from the Wranglers thing (which is okay, because he does fill out a pair of Levis quite nicely) but he’s not the guy he’s pretending to be in the picture.
I’m really happy with him because I don’t have to put on any kind of show with him. I am myself 100% and not only am I okay with that around him but I’m at peace with that around him. I always have been.
Which has meant that whether I’m on top of the world or barely hanging on, I still find myself madly in love with my husband.
I chalk it all up to that one thing I was looking for. It wasn’t a trait you can put on paper and call it, it was a feeling.
What is your thing or what are your things?
What did you/do you look for in a significant other?