This will be my final post in this series. Thank you for reading and thank you for your kind and heartfelt comments. They have been much appreciated.
Now I talk about the last part of this journey. Where we are right now. Though we still mourn the loss of that baby we are filled with hope.
We are hopeful that this is only the beginning of our journey to parenthood. That we will have a child. We hope it’s sooner than later, but we are praying for patience and understanding of our Heavenly Father’s timetable. But there’s no harm in us praying for a chance to be parents.
We hope that it happens soon. We hope that it happens naturally. But we also hope, that if it doesn’t, we will be filled with patience, understanding, and peace. We hope that if it doesn’t happen the way that we want it to, that we will be lead to the way that it’s supposed to.
This summer I’ve spent a lot more time with Misty. We’ve been getting together once a week. Having the opportunity to spend time with Misty and Grace and also play with Grace has been good for my heart. I love watching Misty be a mom and listening to her talk about her days with Grace, plans for the future, etc.. It fills me with hope and it makes my heart happy. Hearing Grace talk and seeing her walk has been a whole new kind of exciting for me. I love that she’s developing. She is a handful but she is still the sweetest and I adore her. Spending time around her has been good for my heart. She fills me with hope.
I hope that Misty and I will someday soon be talking parenting on both sides. I hope to be soon texting Misty about different things I worry about (be prepared Misty because there will be a lot of those). I hope to watch Grace play with my child.
I won’t say that I still don’t have a hard time when I find out someone is pregnant (like the bazillion women in my ward). I long to be right alongside them. Maybe even making new friends as we bond on this journey. I don’t wish they weren’t pregnant, I just wish I was. It’s still hard sometimes. I have weekly breakdowns still and they happen in the strangest places at the strangest times. It’s okay, though. I still hope. I hope that the little Spirit we felt when we found out we were pregnant never leaves us. I hope it only multiplies as we start a family.
Hope is what I cling to right now and I feel really good about that.