When we first got married we bought very few new furniture pieces. Our bed was brand new and we bought our television stand from a garage sale. Everything else was ours, mostly mine, from before.
One of those items from before was the little green loveseat. I got it from my mom’s friend who found it on Craigslist. I furnished my whole living room for $35 through her and the furniture was cute!
Zach and I met before I moved out on my own, so all of my memories with that loveseat included him. Cuddling, kissing, visiting, and watching movies together snuggled up on that little green couch.
After we got married, we continued our movie watching, book reading, talking, cuddling, and kissing on the couch in our house. Even though the couch was worn and old, it was a token of our beginning and we didn’t have any real desire to part with it.
Finally, we spent so much time on that thing, that it started to sag in the middle. Cuddling on the couch became less and less appealing and finally we made the decision to sell it. We got rid of our couch at the beginning of June and at the end of July our new–more grown up couch arrived. Making our home feel just a little more sophisticated and adult.
At first, I struggled with this new look. Our room didn’t say “just getting started” anymore. It said we were established and I wasn’t sure I was ready for that.
I liked living under the protection of “just getting started.” Less is expected of you. Now I feel like I’m responsible for knowing a little something about being a wife, homeowner…or simply an adult.
Just like our love seat, school has been a part of “us” since we became “us.” Zach’s taken books and homework on every vacation we’ve taken (even our honeymoon and no I’m not joking–he didn’t end up doing any homework but I wasn’t thrilled that they made it into his bag in the first place). Our weekends and weeknights have been scheduled around school. Our plans for the future have been contingent upon “when we’re done with school.”
Well, now that day is here. There’s no more waiting. There’s no more living under that protection of “school.” That little bubble where it seems less risky to dream because the future is ahead of you but you can’t quite do anything about it yet.
Even though we married when we were both a little older and most people would have had the school thing over and done with, I was glad that we didn’t. I never wanted to be a young married, but I also never expected to marry someone who had already been down that path once before. And when I was struggling at the beginning with not being “the first,” I always held onto the fact that I would be the one to see Zach walk across the stage in his cap and gown. I would be the one cheering him on. I would know what dedication it took to get him there.
I am so grateful that I got to share in that aspect of his life. I’m grateful that even though we were not super young when we said “I do” that we were able to still experience some of that protection of being in school. That “just getting started” bubble that wraps itself around you and makes you feel safe and secure but you can see the future and you are so excited to one day escape. I’m glad Zach and I got to do that together.
I’m glad we got to have a little Craigslist loveseat and a backpack on the bedroom floor. I’m glad we had late nights and early morning classes on Saturdays. I’m glad that I packed lunches and dinners for class and that most of our conversations took place on the telephone on the way to and from class.
Zach can put the backpack away now. I don’t have to pack dinners anymore, we get to eat together. We can plan weekend trips–no more homework and no more Saturday classes. And while I have looked forward to this for sometime, it is a little bittersweet for me. I’ve loved this time in our lives and in our marriage. It feels like we got to take a detour on the trek ahead of us and stay in one place for a minute and focus.
Now it’s time to move. We can start living the future we dreamed of. A future that’s incredibly exciting and a little scary at the same time. A future that could hold anything. A future where Zach gets to take his interests and education and turn them into something that will make him happy.
Just like it took some getting used to the way our new couch changed the look of the living room, we’ll have to feel out this new stage of our lives for a bit. What will it look like, what will our priorities be, what will I do with all of Zach’s extra time?! ;) I am nothing but excited, though. The other night Zach and I were cuddling in our new-found “spots” on our new couch and he looked up and said, “This is seriously the nicest couch. It’s ridiculous.”
I think we’ll move on just fine.
Congratulations, Zach! I love you and I am so proud of you–let’s take on the world!