I was looking up quotes about long lasting love and there are a lot of quotes about the mistakes of long term marriage and I have to admit(much to Shar’s dismay) these make me laugh a lot .. Sorry Shar but I had to post just one of them :)
Do you know what it means to come home at night to
a woman who’ll give you a little love,
a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you’re in the wrong house,
that’s what it means.
– Henny Youngman
Now on a more serious note.
Next Thursday is Valentine’s Day so I decided to blog on my favorite Valentines. This week is Todd next week will be my kids.. I would apologize for the sappy factor but, I am not sorry about them being my Valentines.
I met Todd when I was 20 years old and I was planning to just date him and “mess with his head” I had my fill of dates and dumb guys and had decided at this ripe old age that I was done liking men. What a big surprise was in store for me ;) I found my Forever Valentine !
What is a Forever Valentine to someone who has been married for 31 years? Here is a little peek into what it means for me.
Todd has been home the past 3 months almost straight. For anyone who doesn’t know us, he works a lot of time out of town. He hasn’t been home this long for years. He went back out of town on Monday. My phone didn’t ring at work at 5.30 asking me what time I was going to be home and I surprised myself by being sad about that. I actually looked at my phone and waited and then remembered he won’t be wondering where I am because he won’t be there waiting for me to get home. I miss him. I LOVE him.
I have loved him most of my life now. Have I ever thought of life without him? Oh yes. Has he ever thought of life without me? For sure.. So what does this mean for people that are meant to be in Love. It means that when we married we made a promise to stick together through all time.. Not just good time, but ALL time. I think sometimes we get caught up in the world’s opinion of people and love. The problem with this is that all people are human and mistakes and mishaps are in our makeup. There is no perfection. This is where the forever moves in.
Forgive the past. It is over. Learn from it and let go. People are constantly changing and growing. Do not cling to a limited, disconnected, negative image of a person in the past. See that person now. Your relationship is always alive and changing.”
Brian L. Weiss, Messages from the Masters: Tapping Into the Power of Love
If by chance you happen to find someone that you truly love and who loves you back this is a God given gift. Do you know what you do with God given gifts? You try to take care of them. You hold on to them and repair them and keep them safe because no one should ever return a God given gift.
I feel that Todd was a gift to me. I wake up thinking of him. I think of him in my dreams. I tell him secrets that I don’t tell anyone else. I trust him to love me and I pray always for us to make the long haul. Do we dance and sing and choose the same movies together? Not very often.. Do we vote the same ticket on election day? No. Does he find Will Ferrell movies funny, die to watch Comedy Central or listen to Country Music? No, No and No. Does it work for us anyway? Yes!!
Why does it work? Because we love each other. We have fun together, I can sit beside him and read while he watches How It’s Made and we don’t have to say anything –we can just be there. I laugh at his rudeness(sometimes) and he laughs at my jokes(once in a while). I know that he loves airplanes and guns and his renewed faith in the gospel. I know if we really need something he is the one who will pull through for me.
He and I have been through the happiest times and the worst of times together. We fight and love and don’t agree and agree. We have been beside one another in family crisis and held each other up in grief. We had the best courtship and newlywed phase ever. I had so much fun with him. I was so happy to just be wrapped up in his arms and to know he was mine. Though we are very familiar with one another and time has worn our souls a bit. I still feel the same way about him now.. My stomach still jumps when I hear his voice and I get happy seeing him walk up the driveway coming home.
When all is said and done , your kids are grown and you have spent more than half your life together ,it is good to know there is someone there that waits for you to come home or to call him at 9.00 and hear about his day and tell him yours. There is someone you will sleep in a chair in a hospital room beside because you cannot trust anyone to watch out for them as well as you will. You won’t buy yourself a pair of socks without getting them some too. You can barely contain a dance in front of the temple when you finally made it to the altar with them after 31 years! You can laugh together alone at the dinner table at “how very strange we have both become since it has become just us again.” You can cry to them when something makes your heartache beyond your wildest imagination. There is something to be said to heaven on Valentine’s Day. Thank you for this God Given Gift.
Happy Valentine’s Day Early .. Todd.
“I will love you always. When this red hair is white, I will still love you. When the smooth softness of youth is replaced by the delicate softness of age, I will still want to touch your skin. When your face is full of the lines of every smile you have ever smiled, of every surprise I have seen flash through your eyes, when every tear you have ever cried has left its mark upon your face,I will treasure you all the more, because I was there to see it all. I will share your life with you, Meredith, and I will love you until the last breath leaves your body or mine.”
― Laurell K. Hamilton, A Lick of Frost