I have been reflecting over my life quite a bit the past year. I don’t know if this reflection come’s from my age or the fact that both of my children are gone and I actually just have spectator status with them now or the fact that we have a few friends who have taken a midlife crisis and turned it into an adventure.  I just know that I have been taking a tally of the things I admire and seeing if I actually have any of those things in my own life.

In researching this out in my head- I have found a common thread in a lot of them.. The thread is a goal and a means of attaining it.  Some of these things are not things that I could affect on my own a lot of them are.

I am envious of people who have their mortgages paid off before they retire.
I envy the people who had the determination to gain higher education.
I  envy the  people who never let themselves fall short on their beliefs and lived their whole life in line with them. I am very envious of this as I would have liked my children to have grown up with that their entire lives.
I envy  people that have artistic vision and can bring about changes in their surroundings with a limited budget and a lot of work

I envy people that choose not to be walked on and bring this about without being an angry, horrible person.

I envy people who still have their parents.

I envy athletic people, people that can sing and dance.

I have none of  these traits but my children and many of my family and friends do.

When I first went through this in my mind I was starting to feel a little hopeless. Mind you I am not a hopeless person, but I do believe you bring about some of your own luck and talents.

So what do I think I can do about some of these at this stage in my life.  Here is where the envy works to my benefit.

I will watch these people., learn some specifics from them and hopefully still be able to apply them to my own life.

Sharlee is a huge example to me of going towards things that you want in your life. She takes classes, volunteers for groups in her interest areas, works extra time, talks to people involved in her line of expertise and puts herself out there to make a difference. I believe this will serve her well not only in her career but, also in the other areas of her life as well.  Her determination and drive to do well in her job affects the lives of every student she has in her class as well. I know she is good at her work and I admire the respect that she earns from a job well done.

I have watched my son take his beliefs to Brazil and teach people there for 2 years a religion that makes him happy and he hoped would bring them joy as well. He learned a foreign language and he lived a less than comfortable existence to bring about a change for himself and the people he met there.  His experience there brought about change in our own home as well.

I watched Zach continue going to college and work for very good grades while being married and holding down a job and church service and his own life. He just kept his eye to the end of it. I fully admire this total focus toward a goal.

I have seen Kylie start classes this semester and work her job and her homework and sell Avon and decorate a home. I am very envious of the fact that she can read an instruction and sand and refinish the cabinets and some of the woodworking in her home by herself without a worry that she would screw it up and she did it . Very Well.

There are several things about Todd that I actually envy.. I wish I could look at something and see it being done and without any other instruction be able to go about doing it myself. He put in the plumbing and heating in our first home. He rebuilt an airplane with nothing but the aircraft manual, he flew it, he can build fences and lay brick and fix electronic devices all with no other instruction but his own eyes.

My friend Carma is a make a vision come to life person as well.  My sister is this type as well.

I am surrounded by talented, intelligent people and at times I feel less than par..

While I was thinking of this the past while I made a decision.  I decided that the feeling less than enough because I am  surrounded by smart people is not in my best interest.

I am surrounded by them for a reason.. Possibly to learn from them.. What a concept.. At my age I should still be learning.

So I have made a decision that I am going to set some goals for myself , work towards them and try to affect a change in myself that may make me a person of interest as well.

Heck maybe after a few Dave Ramsey dvd’s, some work in my yard, some reading and possibly some classes. I may become someone to envy.

I will let you know.