1. An Athiest


With songs like: Three Wooden Crosses, If Heaven Wasn’t so Far Away, Sinners Like Me (gives me chills every time), When I Get Where I’m Going, Believe  and literally countless others

2. Skinny Jeans


Cowboys don’t wear skinny jeans. Neither do cowgirls. Now, country concerts are filled with dimestore cowboys and cowgirls, but if they’re dressing the part (real or not) they’re certainly not wearing skinny jeans.

3. A Liberal (unless of course you’re talking about my mom)

With songs like:  Way Out Here and Keep the Change (there are about a million others, but these are the safest bets without getting any ridiculous videos)

*Pretty sure my mom would like me to clarify that she is mostly in agreement with conservative beliefs shared amongst country music people. She and I are very similar in that regard)

4. The Un-Patriotic


With songs like: Brothers, Real, I Just Came Back from a War, If I Don’t Make it Back, Arlington, **If You’re Reading This (prettiest song ever)

5. Pretentious People

We love songs like: Queen of My Double Wide Trailer, Bubba Shot the Jukebox, and Papa Loved Mamma.

We country people are proud…so proud, but we’re not above a good time with a trashy song.

You can’t offend us by telling us our songs are hicks, redneck, or trashy. We know. We love ’em anyway!

The song that basically covers it all? This is Country Music (the last verse of this song=goosebumps+surge of pride!)

*Zach disagreed with me on every single one of these points, but I stand somewhat firm. What does he know? He’s new to country music.  It may be possible to find any of the above at a country music concert, but it’s definitely rare.