Sunday was Mother’s Day. I don’t have to tell you all that I still miss my mom and mother-in-law a lot.  I do not for one minute want to put a damper on the celebration, but this Sunday I seemed to have a much harder time with it. I will take the church songs and of course the gifts, but all my life I have not considered the day a day for me. It was always a day for my and Todd’s  mom’s.  So when they start singing, it takes me back to when I was little and singing to MY mom or when they show a perfume commercial for Mother’s Day I still have to stop myself from thinking I will check that out for Marty.  I had to remind myself in the card aisle that I didn’t need a card for mom’s because both of mine  are not here anymore.  I think when things seem to be hard for me I really miss them.. I miss asking for their prayers. I miss telling them my stories and having someone that will just listen without telling me what I should or shouldn’t do. I miss taking care of them to keep my mind off of myself. I simply miss them..

Shar and Zach gave Cara and I and Marie a gift of dinner at their house with everyone for Mother’s Day. It was a really nice day and I had kind of gotten over my slight sadness and we were all in the living room while Zach was outside grilling. Shar was hungry.. he wasn’t moving fast enough for her and she made a comment about it in this tone and wave of her hand.. it was funny— and yet… It was my MOTHER!  Cara and I both looked at each other at the same time and said… that is Mother!!  We got a laugh out of that, but it is seriously true.  While I have inherited many of my mom’s traits my daughter comes closer to a replica of her than I do!!

Shar doesn’t like her food cold.. Will not do take out and bring it home because it gets cold. My sister used to have to pick an Egg McMuffin up in a styrofoam cooler to keep it warm if she was taking it to mom.. Shar doesn’t like to wait to eat. When she is hungry you are already past the limit! My mom would tire of us all “milling around while the food is getting cold” and would inevitably break into “Bless Oh Lord These Thy Gifts”  in order to shut us up and pray so she could eat.

Then there is the backseat driving. Get in the car with either of them and you are in for a Hatch’s Driving School(plug for Shar’s in-laws driver’s ed class) on steroids.. It is Move over!  Slow  down! You need to stop riding on that side!! Let’s Pray!

The dry sarcasm is also very much my mother and Shar.. and talking about something someone has done to annoy you… WITH them in the room  and acting as if they were not there to hear it!  This makes me laugh just thinking of it.

Then there is the side of Shar with children. They are equal to her. Their stories are worthy of her time. Their lives are important to her. They have dreams and she wishes for them to obtain them.  Once again, there is my Mother.

It is very hard to be a combination of Martha Larson and Peggy Elmer (as they were two very different types of women),but Shar manages to do this.  She has a way of carrying herself with pride that is very much my mother-in-law. She loves to dress nicely for church and she has a presence that is shown in a quiet kind of way. Once again my mother-in-law.

She is tall and pretty and has a really great smile.. That is Marty.  It has been up for debate whether she looks like her or not, but I think she totally belongs to her. Her hair, her eyes, height, resemblance to her dad.. She is Marty’s granddaughter.

Her adherence to standards she holds true in her life..once again she is Marty’s granddaughter. And boy do you not want to disappoint her!! The look she will send you with her eyes… that one is totally her grandmother.

Both of my children have gained wonderful traits and some oddly eccentric ones as well from their grandparents. It is undeniable.  Todd and I have too.

I found it comforting on Mother’s Day to see the two of them standing at the window waving a  hand(with long pretty fingers like Todd’s mom) and sharply stating that her dinner wasn’t coming fast enough (like mine) and telling someone to hurry and pray .. like both of them.   I find these small things a blessing. That our mom’s little pieces of themselves will not leave the earth with Todd and I because they are with Shane and Shar. Someday their children will tell an inappropriate joke ( like their mother) or wrinkle their nose and say WHATTT? (like their dad) and they will both still be able to say,  “Oh look there they are!” and I am forever grateful for that.

The mother’s heart is the child’s school-room.  ~Henry Ward Beecher

Friday's Fancy with Mom